Finding Peace
by sigrun1asatru
Summary: An exploration of Djaq relationship with the outlaws. WillDjaq


**AN: **Djaq fascinates me so I thought I would delve a little deeper into her inner workings and her relationships with the other outlaws.

Djaq sat around the campfire with her fellow outlaws lost in her thoughts of what her life had been before coming across this strange group. She could hardly remember the life she had as Saffiya anymore. That was another person another world.

She could remember playing with her brother as a child and watching in fascination as her father worked. She remembered him teaching her about medicines. Her mother had died when she was young and now was reduced to a flickering image half memory half fantasy. Her life had been simple and happy before the war came.

Their village was remote so they weren't directly affected for a long time. Her father traveled to the battlefields and she noticed his eyes having shadows in them no longer happy. He was very careful to shield his children not ever telling them of the things he saw. He couldn't protect them forever though.

Eventually the war came home. The English destroyed the village and killed everyone but her turning the young girl's life upside down. Her father shoved her into hiding and she had listened in horror at the fighting going on around her. When it had gotten quiet she emerged to find her father and brother dead.

Knowing it was not safe for a woman alone she had killed Saffiya and taken her brother's identity. Becoming Djaq in name but in spirit a bizarre merging of him and Saffiya. She became a wanderer with no real home no future to think of. She had joined the army wanting to avenge her family's deaths but finding that killing only intensified the ache in her heart. She then used what her father had taught her to help the wounded. She began to feel a small measure of peace.

Then she had been captured and again her life was turned upside down. She was brought to England tortured and beaten continually on the way. The fear of what the future held was suffocating at times. She prayed to Allah to be merciful but she never had imagined he would bring her this.

Strange that it was is this unfamiliar land so different from her own and surrounded by men who should be her enemies that she had found complete inner peace again, a purpose, and a family. She looked around at them loving each differently.

There was Little John. He was like a big burly bear tender, kind but rough when the need arose. She tended to look upon him as a uncle.

There was Allan the jokester. It had taken her the longest to trust him. His casual attitude hid a man with a good heart. He was like the brother who you loved but who was always picking on you.

There was Much dear sweet Much who tended to be the unwilling brunt of everyone's jokes. He was loyal beyond question and took care of everyone's needs often before they asked or even realized they needed.

Robin their brave sometimes foolish leader. She had learned to his judgment even when his plans at first glance didn't appear to be wise.

There was Will. Were there words to describe Will Scarlett? He was the first to know she was a woman. He had always treated her as a equal. His quiet understanding was reassuring. His caring heart made her smile. Him she loved as a woman loves a man.

She had gotten used to feeling his warmth beside her at night. They could sit for hours talking or just enjoying the silence. She would watch him work always amazed by the things he could create with his capable hands. She didn't even want to imagine her life without him.

She had never told him how she felt. They had a job to do and love could only distract them. It certainly distracted Robin enough.

The boisterous noises of the group intruded on her thoughts. She got up and announced she was going for a walk.

Will looked up at her smiling shyly. "Want some company?"

She kept her voice neutral but inside she was joyous. "Sure."

They walked a ways from camp their arms brushing. When they reached a clearing they sat down and looked at the stars. After a few moments of silence Will asked what she was thinking about.

"Home and how my life has changed in the past year."

"Do you miss it?"

She thought about it for a moment. "I miss what my life was before the war. I miss my family. This is my home now. You are my home. I wouldn't nor could I go back there."

Will swallowed hard nervous about his next question. "Do you care about me, Djaq?"

She knew what he meant. She knew him too well not to. She decided to be truthful. "Yes a great deal more than is wise under the circumstances."

"Why is it unwise? I care about you too."

"It would be distracting. You see how Robin acts sometimes. This gang hardly needs more lovestruck fools."

"I would rather be a fool than to continue pretending all I feel for you is friendship. I can't do it anymore, Djaq."

She looked up into his eyes and all her previous objections, the reasons they should not act on their feelings flew out of her head. It was just them. She smiled at him and he leaned in cautiously to kiss her. The moment she felt his lips touch hers she knew she could no longer fight it either. This was meant to happen. This is what Allah had saved her for.

They were interrupted by Robin walking up telling them there was something they had to see. Their leader smiled at them but didn't say anything. He had been expecting this for some time. They walked back into camp holding hands glad to finally have their feelings out in the open. It was good to be home.


End file.
